Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lord What Do You Want Me To Do?

Okay, those of you who have been around a year or two, who followed me back in my Homeschool Blogger days, all know that I have struggled with some things, and what the "desires of my heart" are before the Lord for me and my family.

Recently, deciding that all of this just simple is not to be, I began to pray, "Okay, Lord, than what do you want me to do for you with my life?" After all, society does not understand my just sitting around here, and homeschooling and etc. There must be something He wants me to Do.

I've struggled. I've wrestled. Frankly, I've been quite miserable. So this week, I "stumbled" across an devotional from Nancy Campbell at Above Rubies entitled My Mission Field. The reminder that the Lord has called me first to my home and family. So here we are back at that, again Lord! Oi!

Last night as I was praying, the thought came to my heart, "You haven't prepared for the rain!" So that's it Lord! That's what you want me to do! No the thought is not original. If you've seen Facing the Giants, you know that Mr. Bridges challenged the coach to not only ask for the rain but to prepare his fields to receive it. Earlier this week, I read a blog post by a single mom friend about how she had prepared for rain and the Lord had blessed 100x beyond her asking.

So, as we start this new chapter in our lives, moving this weekend into our apartment in the middle of 100 acres, in one of the most desirable towns in our state, an impossibility that only the Lord could make possible, as I consider the impossibility of the chance of my hearts desires being granted at this very moment, I remember that I serve the God who makes the impossible possible. And what He wants me to do is to stop asking, begging, pleading, demanding...and to start preparing.

Now I have to tell you, I have no idea what that really means in a practical sense, but I'm sure that will be part of the adventure along the way. And as the Lord leads, and allows, I'll keep you updated as to how He is having me prepare to receive the rain.

Blessings, MaggieRaye

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Victory In Jesus

After a long, difficult 24 hours, where I was bombarded with not one but several difficult situations, after four months of struggling to figure out what God wants me to do....last night I literally crumpled to my knees by bed, broken..."I can't do this anymore Lord." "I give up." "I have tried and it's not working, Lord." "I QUIT!" And there, at the end of myself, He began to show me some amazing things.

I am doing what He wants me to do. I am at home. I am homeschooling. I am serving homeschoolers. I am encouraging others (or trying to) in their daily walk. And the vision that He has given me, He is bringing to fruition in His time and His way (not mine.)

He also showed me that while the words I had meant to help, had hurt someone very dear, that He could use those words for His glory. He showed me that sometimes we have to hurt before we start to heal, that we have to know that someone cares enough to speak the truth in love, even if we don't see it that way. He showed me when others words had hurt me and how He had used it to grow me. He gave me hope that all is not lost.

He reminded me where I was nine years ago and where He has brought me from and what He had brought me through.

He showed me that sometimes it's not our family or our church that He uses but other Christians, from unlikely places. He reminded me how the couple who has been the most supportive and encouraging to me in this time is Catholic, unlikely for someone from a die-hard Baptist background.

Though much of what brought me to my knees last night remains unresolved, today I have a ray of hope that has escaped me for months. I feel I can wait a little more patiently for His way and His timing, whatever they may be.

I'm so grateful this morning, amidst the chaos. If He has taken such good care of me in the past, surely He will continue to through this day.

Blessings, MaggieRaye

Monday, November 1, 2010

A Good Reminder

The last two Sunday's the kids and I have listened to messages from a pastor in Wiscasset, ME...Bob Cull from Mid-Coast Community Chapel. The series we're listening to is from Mark 5. These were the reminders that struck me this week worth sharing for application in our Christian walk.

1. Jesus went through the storm, with the disciples. He wasn't worried, they were.

2. He went through the storm with the sole purpose of ministering to one person...he knew the demon possessed man needed Him. And He wouldn't allow this man to follow Him. He had him stay behind, as a "missionary" to those in his own country. They had, after all, asked Jesus to leave.

3. He had followers that while they walked with Him, daily, in the flesh and witnessed His miracles, first hand, still feared and were doubtful.

4. Jesus was never in a hurry.

5. His ministry often came as interuptions in His travels. He left the crowds to sail across the lake to minister to the demon possessed man. He returned to the crowd only to have Jairus seek His help, only to be interupted from that by the woman with the issue of blood. He didn't necessarily minister to people on a first come, first serve basis. Sometimes He made people wait. (Ouch!)

Most of all, I came away with the thought that the Lord was gentle, and caring. Why do I have such a hard time embracing that concept when it is so clear in Scripture after Scripture. It is rare to see the Lord stirred to wrath...not saying it's not there, just saying it's rare.

Blessings, MaggieRaye